People Pleasers Anonymous (PPA)

If you haven't heard "People Pleaser" by Cat Burns, you're missing out. It's way relatable for those of us who can't help but put everyone else before ourselves.

Welcome to People Pleasers Anonymous (PPA), fam. Let's figure out our own 12 steps to prosperity:

Step 1) Embrace Confrontation.

No is your new favorite word. Say it loud and proud, and don't be afraid to actually use it once in a while. It's okay to agree to disagree.

Step 2) Be Uncomfortable Sometimes.

If you are comfortable all of the time, it probably means you aren't trying new things and gaining new experiences. Get uncomfortable once in a while and watch your life blossom amidst change.

Step 3) Get Vulnerable.

With people you know and trust, it's okay to be vulnerable once in a while. That is a healthy method of sharing who you are. Find a friend or a therapist and let go a little bit.

Step 4) Communicate from your Perspective.

As people pleaser's, we sometimes fall into the trap of listening and not expressing ourselves. See Step 1 for a starting point, but don't stop there. Get out there and communicate.

Step 5) Speak Up.

You know you want to. Stop burying your opinions deep inside to please someone else. What you have to say matters too.

Step 6) Address your Trauma.

Just because you learned to be a people pleaser in childhood, doesn't mean that's a healthy way to be. Speak to an expert and learn how to address your trauma so it doesn't become you.

Step 7) Your Needs and Wants are Important.

Don't believe the lies you tell yourself that your needs and wants don't matter. You are just as important as they are. Like they say on the airplane, put your safety mask on first.

Step 8) You Can't Always Fix It.

Unless someone chooses to get help, they won't be helped. You cannot force your help on others, even if you mean well. They may just want you to listen anyways.

Step 9) It's Okay to Not Be Okay.

Sometimes you are going to feel helpless when you try to fix it and you can't. That's okay. Embrace the moment of not feeling okay but don't stay there forever. It's okay to not be okay sometimes.

Step 10) Take Some Time for You.

Other people can wait. It's okay to be a little selfish when it comes to self care. You should come first; you can't always put everyone else ahead of yourself.

Step 11) Shame and Blame are a Losing Game.

You are not responsible for making sure everything and everyone else are okay. Don't play the blame game and don't get swallowed in shame. No one wins that way.

Step 12) Practice Pleasing You for Once.

What do you like to do? Practice taking care of your own wants and needs so that you discover what you enjoy. People pleasing is behind you, so look in the mirror and get to know you now.

Anyone want to join my PPA support group and try out these 12 Steps?

Manic and Moody